This weekend was nice.

boners

i am so over this fucking heat wave. i want winter and hoodies and boots and leggings. ugh i hate this weather so much. i had fun on long island skating around with nick and stevo around my neighborhood, i felt like a kid again. i went to the beach by myself but had a good time anyways it was relazing until 23874293847 children and faggy lifeguards got there. and i got bit by a stupid spider at my moms house and my foot was swollen twice its size. but anyways, more bands have been announced for maryland deathfest :) it still isn't going to top bolt thrower but it will be gooooooood. this week i am seeing bouncing souls, none more black and lifetime. and i gotta say that i actually LIKE lifetime :X lucas bought me a ticket awhile ago and i was like ughhhh why do you force me to go to these lame shows but it should be fun anyways seeing terry and nina and maybe some other people i havent seen in awhile. hmmm... what else? work has been slow as fuck so i've been pretty much getting paid to do an hour of work and read the rest of the night. blahblahblah

today was nice
rode my bike down the east river
laid about in tompkins square park
unlimited iced coffee
avocado and hummus sandwich
sun burnt cheeks
got a ten pound papaya for free

i found a few photos of my dad when he was growing up in Italy. made me realize even more how much i miss my family. they're all out of their mind but it is what i know and all i have. i miss them so so much. i need to change this as fast as i can. i feel like i keep trying to fill this void of not having them in my life with other things but of course it doesnt work. i hear people speaking italian on the street especially the dialect i was raised with and my neck snaps in that direction thinking i am going to see one of their faces. i purposely avoid little italy. oh the little things i do that i let constrict my life. i keep letting go of these chains one by one but this one is going to be the hardest, i know. i really want to go back to italy but i feel as though if i leave, i won't want to come back haha. i love nyc but i don't put any city above naples. 

who really cares about paranoid and master of reality.

i love people who can make me feel uncomfortable.

is it strange that i like to look at deceased people's myspace profiles? i like to read the comments. everyone loves you when you're dead.

so basically my new promotion has really been kicking my ass. i've always been into herbs and minerals but now that i HAVE to learn it all and fast, i just can't retain any information. especially since i have so many things going on in my head... i've always been told i live in my head, couldn't feel more true these days. my new favorite thing to do lately is mope around my apartment, eat tons of fruit, actually cooking meals instead of getting take-out, smoking, smoking on my fire escape, smoking in the park, laying in the park avoiding crusties/bums, people watching, writing, walking aimlessly while listening to yann tiersen and not sleeping. i've been smoking more than ever lately. it sucks but i feel like its helping me cope with work and other shit so whatever. i keep re-living seeing bolt thrower, it's a problem.

i want spring 07' back.

on a bolt thrower high... pretty sure my life is complete.

this weekend was nice. i feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and it feels amazing. nothing is going to get to me this week because i am seeing bolt thrower next weekend.

cant wait...

tell me how you live your life.

why do i seem to always have work on beautiful sunny days?

i've discovered the black keys for the second time and cant believe i've stopped listening to them in the first place. there is a lot going on this month in my life which is weird cause nothing interesting ever happens to me. i am also trying to learn how to live outside my head a little bit.

i give up on you.

all i smell is burning hair
& everything is spinning.

All is well.
There are a few things on my list I need to change
but I am working on it.

The parasites are excited when you're dead
eyes bulging, entering your head.
and all your thoughts, they rot.
god and satan they gamble when you're dead
beams of light, one sprite, the other's bourbon instead
and all your thoughts, they rot.
it was hot and time was stickin to my skin.
we're all a punchline to a joke that they won't let us in on.
and all your thoughts, they rot

the love of my life.

i am still obsessed with this:

So this is my lame attempt at a blogspot.
I guess this will be more of a photo journal than anything else.
I am still trying to learn how to use this.