i found a few photos of my dad when he was growing up in Italy. made me realize even more how much i miss my family. they're all out of their mind but it is what i know and all i have. i miss them so so much. i need to change this as fast as i can. i feel like i keep trying to fill this void of not having them in my life with other things but of course it doesnt work. i hear people speaking italian on the street especially the dialect i was raised with and my neck snaps in that direction thinking i am going to see one of their faces. i purposely avoid little italy. oh the little things i do that i let constrict my life. i keep letting go of these chains one by one but this one is going to be the hardest, i know. i really want to go back to italy but i feel as though if i leave, i won't want to come back haha. i love nyc but i don't put any city above naples.
